Counseling Student's Sharing

Ms. Money Mak
Ms. Julia Chan
Ms. Grace Yeung
Ms. Ngai Wing Yee
Ms. Wong Hoi Shung
Ms. Eva Lam
Ms. Edith Cheung

Ms. Money Mak

Student of BCS in Christian Counseling

I am a graduate of the second intake of the “Diploma in Christian Counseling through Companionship: Helping Yourself and Others” program, and I am delighted to share my story of how God has molded my life.I have four fathers in my life, with two names.The first is my biological father, the second is my adoptive father, the third is my Heavenly Father, and the fourth is Pastor Mak, whom I regard as my spiritual father.My birth name is Lo Man Yi, taking my surname from my biological father. When I turned 20, I changed my name to Mak Man Yi, taking my surname from my adoptive father, and I chose the given name myself.

My life has had its share of twists and turns, but God's mercy has always been abundant in my life.

My mother is from Thailand. When she was young, she was beaten by her brother and fell ill, spending more than two weeks in bed. As a result, she developed resentment towards her family and decided to leave her hometown. Through a matchmaker's introduction, she came to Hong Kong to marry my father, whom she did not know before the marriage.

After their marriage, my father developed manic-depressive disorder and injured someone, leading to his admission to a psychiatric hospital. After that, my parents divorced.

After the divorce, my mother, who did not have the right to stay in Hong Kong, faced an uncertain future with a baby in her arms. God had mercy on my mother, and she met my stepfather, and they got married when I was two years old. Finally, my mother was able to settle down in Hong Kong.

My family was not financially well-off, and during my early childhood, I was placed in foster care with strangers and often subjected to severe physical abuse. During my primary school years, I attended a boarding school, which filled me with fear and unease, often causing me to cry alone. These ten years of my childhood made me feel like I was living in an orphanage.

When the boarding school was relocated and closed, my parents took me back, but our relationship was distant. My parents didn't know how to communicate with me and were very cold towards me. They never talked to me, which made me suspect for many years and even believe that they hated me.My emotions were shattered due to the various pressures of life, and I developed depression from my early teens.

During my secondary school years, I joined a church, which my parents strongly opposed. This strained my relationship with them even further, and when I was nineteen, I moved out of the family home and into a youth hostel. At that time, I had not completed my education and had no financial means, so I had to enter the workforce.

Due to my unstable emotions over the years and the lack of a sense of security from my family, I found it extremely difficult to communicate with others in unfamiliar environments. I never knew how to initiate conversations with others and often gave people the misconception that I was difficult to get along with. My life gradually accumulated more negative thoughts, to the point where it became overwhelming.

God however had mercy on me and began to mold me, helping me to emerge from the valley.I enrolled in the “Diploma in Christian Counseling through Companionship: Helping Yourself and Others” program, and during the learning process, God's comfort and mercy were both real and warm.

I still remember when I was in kindergarten, I was very afraid to get up at night to use the bathroom because I had to pass through the adults' room. After gathering courage to rush to the bathroom, I never had the courage to return to bed; so many long nights, I huddled on the terrace until dawn. In the growth program, students are required to undergo counseling. Prior to counseling, God allowed me to see in my contemplation the image of Jesus sitting on that terrace, holding the little me as I fell asleep. This contemplative visualization completely transformed my memories and healed the deep wounds in my heart. Additionally, the counselor helped me process many of the painful emotions from my childhood and the negative thoughts about my family.

Armed with the resources and abilities gained through the program, I was able to rebuild my relationship with my parents. As my inner being reorganized and healed, my inner strength grew, and I had the space to understand and accept the limitations my parents had in taking care of me during my childhood. This led me to love them even more than myself.

Ephesians 3:16 states, "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being…" Throughout the two-year program, I discovered that my inner self becoming stronger. God didn't transform me into a different person or erase all the painful memories from my childhood. Instead, He personally lifted me up and revealed the many possibilities within me. God enriched my strengths and qualities, reducing my weaknesses. I gradually learned to love myself and embrace the uniqueness of my life. As my former church director said, "I am unique, beautiful, valuable, and lovely!"

Because I see that I am now standing firmly, I have even more faith that every person has the potential to be renewed and transformed by God. I believe that each person's life is incredibly unique, and our past experiences cannot be rewritten. However, we can try to view those painful and unpleasant experiences through God's perspective and lens, and He will give us new thoughts. God has the power to transform; He is always doing something new.

The truth is, my inner self is still prone to fear and anxiety, and I am still weak. But with all the resources I have gained from my learning, my inner being stands strong.Finally, may the words of the Apostle Paul encourage everyone:

2 Corinthians 4:7-9 and 16:

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."

Ms. Julia Chan

Graduate student of Diploma in Christian Counseling Through Companionship:Helping Yourself and Others

Thank God for giving me the chance to take the Diploma in Christian Counseling Through Companionship: Helping Yourself and Others . This let me learn the truth of "love of your neighbor as yourself" and let me understand more that God's love is "long, wide, high and deep."

For a long time I had always felt that the opinions of others were more important than my own. I lacked self-confidence and I valued other people's visions and expectations more than my own. I now know more about my mind, my strengths and my needs. I have learnt how to appreciate myself, be more self-confident, and most importantly how to let go of the other’s expectations away from me via the program. Being myself, listening to my own feelings and needs, learning to affirm and praise myself, I have slowly built up my self-confidence, peace of mind, learning more clearly from the continuous important and grateful input from God. I am being more obedient, more aware of the Lord's will, and connected with God. I recognize more aspects of myself from the introspection, review, facing, letting go and moving forward process undergone during my study. I can see my differences, knowing more my own mind, and seeing the truth which I think I had known very well. Only those who love themselves know how to love others, so that they could commit to serving with their whole hearts. Only by learning to love, would you know how to love others and to serve God in the future.

The program teaches us different counseling skills and methods to help others. If we want to know how to use these skills during practice, we must learn how to help ourselves with these skills before helping others with those same skills. There is a grief counseling section in the program, which is also the most striking part for me. I thought that time could dilute everything, but in my study I found that "time dilutes everything" may not really be able to enable me to let go of sadness. Therefore, the program let me learn how to face and deal with my inner grief slowly. It does not mean that I need to clear it all at once, but at least I am willing to start the first step. Grief and pain are slowly put down one by one, my heart is relieved and is able to undertake the mission for the Lord, the mission of carrying others. The program requires each of us to meet with the counselor, set counseling goals and talk to the counselor. My goal is to learn the power of love. From the mentality I had at first, I thought I couldn't change until the last session of the counseling. Then my counselor said that I was completely transformed and was full of the power of love, and so naturally strong to give love. Family members around me also noticed this change, and they silently expressed their gratitude to me.

Because of the change, friends will ask why is it different from you who was worried about everything before? God asked me to have more chances walking with others after graduation. I may have only been a listener in the past, because I may not know how to respond to the needs of my friends. Now, I have learned to have empathy. It is easier to make a appropriate response in a timely manner while listening to my friends. I can be a good listener and I can help to give my friends relief.

The biblical truth that "giving is more blessed than receiving" is reflected in the practice. In the precious interactions, I can see that God is working with me. God's love is surrounding my classmates in all directions. Learning to love oneself, extending love to others, understanding God's love, and reciprocating love to witness the name of the Lord, all these details can be counted as the vastness of God's grace. The measurement of God's love, which our eyes have never seen, our ears have never heard, and our minds can never imagined, that love is great indeed.

Ms. Grace Yeung

Graduate student of Diploma in Christian Counseling Through Companionship: Helping Yourself and Others

Thank God! Throughout this program study, there is much homework and practice to do, with both the instructor's teaching and the group walking together. It seems like a puzzle to be reorganized and be discovered. In the reviewing process, my complaints about my father were healed, the guilt and regret taken away. A lot of disappointments and regrets were let go . I could review and rediscover the footprints of God's grace and care. In the process,I was brave enough to share with my brother and husband so that this healing was not only for me, but also extended to my family and my dear family.

I thank God for God’s wonderful grace, which has broadened my mind, and brought unexpected healing. I truly appreciated the joy from the release of grief and loss. I used to think in a straightforward direction of being, growing and building confidence. I did not know how to consider the needs of others. Facing personal sadness and loss, I was afraid and avoided others. Staying in my comfort zone, trying not to be touched, choosing the easier way to face, but then I could not experience any growth!

Thanks to the past two years of studying, I have acquired a lot of fresh and inspiring positive beliefs, learning step by step, inspired by much thinking and the discovery of inner resources, positive orientation, and learning many skills and knowledge of walking with others. During the experience of training and internship, the resources of walking with others have been deeply planted, and the power of loving oneself and others, as well as the spirit of walking with oneself and others has been broadened.

The accumulated learning in the past touched on the topic of good life growth, which has given me a different experience and outlook. Being able to walk with others is a blessing from experience, and through these experiences, I have more understanding of the impact with transforming power of God’s intervention in people’s lives .

A profound experience was that my former boss was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in May 2018. The doctor diagnosed him as having only three months of life left. He trusted me to keep in touch and to share. Whenever faced with radiotherapy and chemotherapy, I would pray for him. God gave me the ability to gather, pray and walk with him until March 2020 when he rested in the arms of the Lord. In this Companionship with him for one year and ten months, through all his experiences of the ups and downs of his illness, I saw a different spiritual transformation of him, a developing unswerving trust in God, and a trying of his best to stand in the faith, hope, and love promised by the Lord even in his hardships.Seeing his trust in God transcending his surrounding environment is a testament to the deep grace of the Lord.

The above learning and experience helped me to make a breakthrough of escapism and fear, and I was able to walk with my boss in the last stage of the sadness and the eventual loss of his life. I could have a deeper understanding of God’s power, love and grace. I understood the importance of supporting the one with sadness and difficulties. However, my mind was also strengthened to carry on walking with others at the same time. The interaction between life and life can show the true truth of love and kindness, making my heart yearn for, and for praising God's love for his wondrous deeds in my life.

Through my study, I could readjust my thoughts and rhythm of walking with others. For example, when facing the situation of my business classmate’s father, who had suddenly passed away due to a heart attack. She had to face the loss of her father and then her mother was diagnosed with cancer, which made her experience grief and sleepless nights.

I thank God that I could walk with her, sharing my own experience of my father’s death in a traffic accident. She learned that she could experience God’s actions in grief, the transformation and peace of God’s words! Through the power of prayer, she experienced God's love, healing from her sadness and she resolved to believe in the Lord.

The ability to move on with the strength and promise given by God's intervention in one's life, the inspiration by His words to go in a different direction, the learning to accompany and to support those in need. The mourners may not be able bear their loss alone, to find a turning point and to get out of despair! These experiences taught me to cherish the opportunity to walk with others, to open my heart, to experience more grace from God, to learn from the precious experiences of walking with others, to broaden my understanding of myself and others, and at the same time, to experience more of God’s presence. The leadership and the pull on myself and others are unforgettable and precious experiences!

Ms. Ngai Wing Yee

Graduate of Diploma in Christian Counseling Through Companionship: Helping Yourself and Others

I enrolled in this counseling program because I like talking with others, and many friends like to talk to me with their hearts. Almost after one and a half year studying, from the camps, small groups, classwork and personal counselings, I have had much time to reflect and to understand myself more. For a long time I thought that I knew myself very well, but it turned out that I had only known a superficial part of myself and I discovered that I did not know how to appreciate myself even when others praised me, as I would think I was not doing well enough and denying myself always. During many discussions, I discovered that whether my thoughts, behaviors or values, they were all influenced by my family and my upbringing experience.

Through the self-helping and helping others program, I had a chance to develop a real understanding of myself. I also learned some basic counseling skills, which made it easier for me to empathize with others' inner feelings and emotions when talking with them. The second stage of the internship is now underway. Although I sometimes still feel nervous because I don't know how to deal with it, every compansion (companion??) experience is an process of learning and growth. (I only know the word compansion from engineering and it does not seen to fit in somehow with the centre’s work unless it is a cult???)

I am grateful to Lord for giving me the opportunity to take this program. I hope to continue to study hard for the remaining six months, learning to appreciate myself more in my life, recognizing the gifts Lord has given me, and using my gifts to serving others and giving back. Hope your life can be a blessing to others!

Ms. Wong Hoi Shung

Graduate of Diploma in Christian Counseling Through Companionship: Helping Yourself and Others

The reason for my application for the Diploma in Christian Counseling Through Companionship: Helping Yourself and Others was so I could fill the needs of the church in its caring ministry, hoping that I could be equipped with some counseling skills, but in retrospect, the most precious thing is that I have found that my life has grown. It is really God’s grace! It does take courage to grow, because in the process, you may re-touch on past unpleasant or hurtful experiences, triggering inner fears to face and make changes, just like in the interpersonal conflicts in the church, which could make me feel angry, frustrated, filed with resentment, jealousy, etc…. One bonus point of the learning is to learn to take care of myself. When you notice some emotional ups and downs in your heart, you should stop to sort out the complicated, tangled feelings and thoughts, so to understand your own needs, and choose a new way to face it instead of suppressing yourself or accusing others, miraculously, that life will be gradually changed.

Does growth seek to become flawless? It is because of these imperfections that we are each unique in the world. Accepting your limitations and appreciating the courage, strength, and perseverance that come with those limitations will reveal the beauty in life. The hardships or hurts from the past can enrich your life for every experience has value and could shape who you are today. Growth is a journey of exploration, which requires continuous progress. Even if I sometimes encounter difficulties and bewilderments, the joy of growing through learning from the journey of my peers allows me to live a lighter, freer and a more abundant life.

Ms. Eva Lam

Graduate Master of Arts in Christian Counseling

I started to study the Master of Arts (M.A.) in Christian Counseling at Lutheran Theological Seminary in 2018. Although it was two years ago, I still remember the feeling of counseling for the first time. I felt that nothing could motivate me for a while at that time. However, it would become a lot of fun because after reading the counseling program, I realized the role of emotions. It turned out that sadness is to comfort ourselves, panic reminds us that there may be a crisis, protect myself. I, who had never accepted emotional outbursts in the past, began to care and accept myself. I also felt that this subject was very healing. It not only gave me knowledge, but it also satisfied my heart. Although it seems that it is not easy to study at a certain age, if this is the subject that you like and want to learn more about, believing that God will help you, it will make you feel fulfilled.

Lutheran Theological Seminary has a Compansion LeShalom Centre, which provides personal counseling for students during the program. A Christian counselor interviewed me, who not only taught me to love myself, but also taught me to know God from a different perspective. In the past, I might have had an incomplete understanding of God. I was very harsh on myself, believing that faith was often with a suffering life. When there was a space for me to understand myself and God from the perspectives of faith and counseling, I had a new understanding. I remembered that the program mentioned the sense of value, that we will get our score, from points 60 or 70, which is variable at any time. However, we got points 100 starting from our life because God created us with his value. The points will be changed just from our subjective feeling, leading me to experience God's love and getting the affirmation from him.

I have started my internship and found that there are many people like me in the past. They do not cherish their own value, depreciate themselves, and do not care about their own feelings. Sometimes I think maybe God will very distressed by this as we are created by Him. We are whom He loves, but we forget ourselves and fail to see the gifts He has given to us. Now there is a internship chance. I am full of gratitude that it can help people to know themselves, discover their abilities, and move towards a prosperous life.

Facing the current social situation, maybe all of us want to do something such as comforting those in need. In the past, I had this caring heart, but I felt that I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t know how to get into the real needs of people’s hearts. But through the program, I have learnt some counseling skills, so that we can better understand how to talk with people and how to comfort them. I hope that more people can walk with themselves, with others, and with God via the study and counseling, bringing more hope to the society.

Ms. Edith Cheung

Graduate student of Master of Arts in Christian Counseling

During the learning process, I have improved my self-observation and awareness. One of the big discoveries was that I worked hard to serve in order to be recognized. This is because when I was a child, I saw my parents quarreling because of work. I was worried that my parents would be separated and I would lose the love of my family. Since then, I have worked hard to help with the family, hoping that my parents will not quarrel again. It turns out that I actually have always been affirmed, accepted and loved by my parents. My existence value had already been affirmed. When I had more awareness of myself from the program, I learned to set boundaries for myself. Now I have learned how to say "no" when not appropriate, or "yes" when appropriate. I do not need to affirm myself with non-stop work.

In addition, I noticed that I had many inflexible concepts such as "black or white", “It must…", "It should be…", etc. Now I am learning to evaluate flexibly whether people or things with my gradually broadening vision. I am being more relaxed and free, not only in being myself, but also in interpersonal relationships being more sincere and at ease.

The compansion (companion??) counseling program is not only a combination of theory and experience, with the practice and learning in the program, it also could help me to know how to walk with brothers and sisters more appropriately in church shepherding. It is applicable for interviews, small groups and fellowships. Thank God that I could see the life renewal and growth of brothers and sisters. I thank the guidance of the Lord, making me more aware of what I am doing, more aware of the needs of the service groups, and more aware of the presence of the Lord. May the Lord bless you all!